Those look exactly as I would expect them. In terms of cutting the character count, just eliminate from certain projects work that you are claiming on other projects.

I submitted an application with descriptions that I would use with a friend and got rejected. I rewrote it like yours and got approved.

I have finally written up my project descriptions for my application. I have been putting this off!

I work part-time and work on many small projects, and I don't want to have 25 projects listed on my application. I added all projects since 2012 to Cornelius' spreadsheet and picked two of the biggest and a few of the most recent. I now have my 4,500 hours with only 6 project.

But I'm afraid my write-ups sound odd. They use PMP terms, which doesn't really sound like English to me. It's not how I would describe my hours of work to a friend -- is this really what PMI wants? I'm basing this off suggestions I read online. I would love feedback before I submit these - I want my application to be approved because I really have done a lot of PM work over the past 20 years and I really want to obtain my PMP.

Also, these aren't all down to 500 characters yet, as I'm not sure what to cut out and what to keep.

Thanks!